Funny Or Die
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -

Jimmy Kimmel Live
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -


  • It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
    Originally published October 20, 2009. - - -I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to h…
    - 20 hours ago, 22 Sep 17, 3:08pm -
  • List: Has Autumn Arrived?
    1. Have the leaves begun their colorful transformation? 2. Are cooler temperatures sweeping into the forecast? 3. Is flannel clothing popping up everywhere? 4. Do your food stores contain sufficient wheat, oats, and cured meats to see your kin thr…
    - 20 hours ago, 22 Sep 17, 2:59pm -
  • The Coffin Industry Proudly Supports the Graham-Cassidy Health Care Bill
    Well, there’s another effort to repeal Obamacare, and once again there are a handful of fringe groups speaking out against the new bill, like the American Medical Association, the National Council for Behavioral Health, the American Cancer Society…
    - 20 hours ago, 22 Sep 17, 2:20pm -
  • How to Cite Criticisms of Your Professors Using the MLA Handbook, Eighth Edition
    A page on a website on which you comment that your professor takes off points for no reason and omit that you never asked the professor to explain the point deduction: “Student Ratings.”Rate My Professors,26 Aug. 2017, http://www.ratemyprofessors…
    - 23 hours ago, 22 Sep 17, 12:00pm -
  • Why Won’t You Just Let Us Pass a Health Care Bill and Kill a Few Million People?
    Dear America, At this point, it’s just getting frustrating. Time and time again, our party’s leaders have drafted and presented health care bills to repeal and replace Obamacare. We’ve tried this thing from all possible angles, but the backlash…
    - 2 days ago, 21 Sep 17, 5:00pm -
  • Monologue: I’m Diana From Anne of Green Gables and I am Fucking Drunk
    Holy shit holy shit holy shit. That cordial was cor-dialllll, right, Anne? Anne? ANNE! ANNNNNEEEEEEE! Hahahahah, oh my god I’m just here like screaming your name and you’re right there! On the other side of the kitchen island! I mean, it’s not…
    - 2 days ago, 21 Sep 17, 12:02pm -
  • List: 5 Reasons Treadmill Desks Are the Next Big Thing
    1. If sitting is the new smoking, you nine-to-fivers are suckin’ em back like there’s no tomorrow. Studies show that long periods of seated inactivity have been linked to obesity, type 2 diabetes, and even early death. So get out of those chairs…
    - 2 days ago, 21 Sep 17, 12:01pm -
  • Opening Remarks from This Year’s Annual Rosh Hashanah Satanic Conclave Hosted by the Global Zionist Cabal
    Good morning and yom tov, fellow Jewish blood brethren! On behalf of all of us here on the Supreme Council, I’d like to welcome each and every one of you to 5778’s Annual Rosh Hashanah Satanic Conclave. It’s been quite the year for string-pulli…
    - 3 days ago, 20 Sep 17, 5:01pm -
  • List: Other Elton John Songs That Donald Trump Uses to Refer to World Leaders
    “Rocket Man” – Kim Jong Un (North Korea) “Bennie and the Jets” – Benjamin Netanyahu (Israel) “Crocodile Rock” – Malcolm Turnbull (Australia) “All Quiet on the Western Front” – Angela Merkel (Germany) “Border Song” – Enri…
    - 3 days ago, 20 Sep 17, 3:00pm -
  • I’ve Read 5 of the 143 Words in Your Facebook Status, and Now I Hate You, Old Friend
    I am outraged beyond belief by the despicable opinion I have convinced myself you have posted on Facebook. I have thus written this diatribe as a response, tagging you, so that your mom, that guy you met at that conference in Miami, and the other thr…
    - 3 days ago, 20 Sep 17, 12:01pm -

The Onion


  • Toilet Training Your Puppy - Why Crating is Better
    There are many methods you can use for toilet training your puppy. However, crating remains one of the most effective. In fact, crating is so powerful, it is universally recommended by most dog training specialists. To humans this might s…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:58am -
  • Stopping Puppy Chewing - Different Techniques to Control the Chewing
    When one first brings home a new puppy they can almost always expect some degree of chewing. For one thing puppies are generally either going through or have just completed the teething stage of their life and just like a human baby chewi…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:57am -
  • Stop Puppy from Digging - Giving Puppies a Better Outlet than Digging
    For many puppy owners digging can quickly become a problem. For most dogs the instinct to dig is bred right into their make-up. It can be difficult to stop a puppy from digging, but it can be done.The first thing you need to do is try to fi…
    - 15 Mar 17, 1:00am -
  • Stop puppy From jumping - Teaching Puppies to Stay “Off”
    Most puppies are just full of energy. They have a tendency to just bounce about the house in a cute manner. However when a puppy starts jumping up on you and others, it may start out as cute, but may turn into a nuisance later on.One re…
    - 13 Mar 17, 7:03pm -
  • The Causes of Scratching in Dogs
    Dogs scratch for any number of reasons. They generally do it to relieve a real itch – the result of an allergy, a flea bite, or an irritation that they might get from time spent out of the house in water, mud, or other irritants.When…
    - 6 Mar 17, 12:00am -